Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Santa's Smutty Elves (Romance Reader Appreciation Event!)



Christmas.

There have been years, I confess, when Christmas seemed a dirty word to me. Between trying to scrape up the money to buy gifts and traveling the length of two states, often on the Big Day itself, in a futile attempt to make all the relatives happy, I frequently longed for it to be over--or never arrive. The best day of the holidays tended to be the day AFTER Christmas, when all I had to do was burn the ripped wrapping paper and crumpled bows and try to avoid stepping on the small pieces of already-broken gifts my kids left strewn about.

Things are different now, for me, but I suspect many of you are already longing for the hectic, headlong, holiday hustle to be over. Some of you will shop the day-after specials, braving the crowds to go bargain-hunting.

I'm looking for the rest of you.

I'm seeking those who want nothing more than to relax and find something fun--and free--to do while  your menfolk watch football. If you have an e-reader, or have one on your list, then allow me the privilege of helping you put new books on it.

I'm planning a huge, kick-off-your-shoes-and-unhook-your-bra romance e-book giveaway party on Facebook, from 10 am ET until midnite on December 26th.

Yep. Nothing will be sold. My author friends and I are giving back to our readers--old and new. Jump into quickie contests and win new books for your reading enjoyment. Hang out in the room and chat about all the things you love about romance novels, meet the authors and publishers, and generally unwind.

Don't have an e-reader? No problem, there is free software galore that will let you read in the Cloud, on your PC, tablet, or Smartphone.

So no excuses. Join the event page and prepare to have fun while Santa's Smutty Elves stuff those electronic devices with stories.

Hope to see you there. I'll be the general emcee, in the room all day. That alone has to be worth the price of admission. <grin> I even wrote a poem, just for the event:

'Twas the day after Christmas and I'd spent down to my last ounce,
The kids were hyper and ready to pounce.
My pockets were empty, my new Kindle was too,
Oh what in the world is a poor mother to do?


Hubby in his recliner and me in my flannel
I thought I might scream if he flipped one more channel.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear
But a room full of authors, bringing good cheer.

They wore naughty grins and one crooked a finger
"Come over here, so we might linger
Christmas is done, but the fun's just beginning
We're giving you e-books and want you to leave grinning!

"Books filled with smut and good, sexy stories,
we want you to read of our heroes glories!"
"Why would you do this?" I ask in surprise
"There must be a catch to this fabulous prize."

"Nay" they replied with eyes that did wink,
"We'd just like you to read, and to know what you think!
So we're giving you books to brighten a cold winter's night,
in hopes you might tell your friends of the ones you did like!"

"So pull up a chair and ignore all the groaning and shouting
if hubby's football team is getting a routing.
For in this room we will celebrate falling in love,
And you won't even need to shave your legs, my little doves.

"That's all there is to it, it's really quite simple,
All you need is a love of romance and a PC, a Nook, or a Kindle.
We'll have some fun contests, we'll show off our blurbs,
to help keep you from kicking your spouse to the curb."

"We're offering our words; warm, loving and tender
imaginary men so brave and alpha, you're certain to shiver
Tied up in sex scenes sure to make your heart quiver.
and wrapped up in dramas so intense you might cry a river."

"Come make new friends and find some new faves,
enter a contest, 'like' an author's page.
For romance isn't dead and neither is friendship,
We treasure each reader and we're here for the kinship."

"Smut isn't bad, nor vivid images of sexual positions,
If your love life heats up, then we've accomplished our missions.
But above all I say, on behalf of this merry crew,
DEAR READER OF ROMANCE, WE APPRECIATE YOU!"

I heard all that groaning! My parties are much better than my poetry, I promise.

(NOTE: There are still plenty of open slots for authors. The sign-up sheet is linked in the event room.)


4 comments :

  1. love your poetry too Eden LOL!

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    1. (hangs head in shame) Sleep deprivation + poetry attempt. It's a bad thang. :D

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  2. Very cool...I'll be on the look out on the 26th!

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    1. Looking forward to seeing you there, Rissa :)

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