Dirty Mind vs Debit Card: Final Thoughts-The Porn Placebo

Today's Dirty Mind is me.

Hosting the incredible group of writers I call my Dirty Minds was an experience I’ll not soon forget. It was my intention to expose the Average Reader to the issue of corporate censorship, and provoke thought and dialogue about why corporations should not be allowed to dictate what the law will not.

The Dirty Minds did that. Boy, did they ever. They provoked a lot of other thoughts along the way.  Thoughts I’ll visit later, once we put the PayPal issue to bed.

Behind the scenes, these writers and others were speaking up in other forums. On their blogs, on articles covering the PayPal controversy, on Twitter…all over the internet, they kept the issue in front of people.


People like you.

Initially, Paypal told Smashwords founder Mark Cocker their decision to pressure him to pull certain erotica titles was due in part to pressure from the major credit card companies.


While the series was running, PayPal, Visa and now MasterCard spoke up.

Thanks in no small part to Remittance Girl, my first Dirty Mind, Banned Writers.com now have both Visa  and MasterCard on record denying any involvement in Paypal’s decision.

A real-life parallel to the situation occurred to me as I read Paypal’s dismissive and condescending post on their blog —the one where they state they welcome your feedback, but have in fact disabled comments.


I’ll share my story with you.

When my son was in the third grade, I got a note from his teacher asking for a meeting. He was my oldest child. In the four years my son had attended public school, I hadn’t been summoned to a meeting but once or twice, and I approached the meeting with trepidation.

I listened in shock as she informed me she believed my son had Attention Deficit Disorder. He was disruptive in class, his work was sadly lacking. He was on a course to fail third grade. She went on to say she felt he needed immediate evaluation by a specialist, and she gave me a name and phone number for one she recommended.

My husband and I discussed her suggestion, and we agreed to make the appointment. In less than an hour, the specialist confirmed the teacher’s suspicions. He gave me three prescriptions and made me feel like a horrible parent.

I filled the prescriptions, and sent part of the medication to the school, since the prescription called for three doses per day.

And I watched my child. Already thin by body type, he lost his appetite completely. He complained of stomach aches. He acted like a zombie. He had no interest in anything, not his friends, not his toys, nothing. He was a shadow of the child he had been. When he didn’t want to play baseball, I became truly concerned. The kid ate, slept and breathed baseball.

But his teacher was happy. She sent glowing notes home, and his grades went up.

One of my customers was a pharmacist. I mentioned my concerns to her. She told me the drug my son was on was one of the most over-prescribed drugs she filled. She also said she didn’t believe my son had ADD. She believed he was a normal, active little boy. To be clear, she had spent some time around my children.

When the medication ran out, I did not refill it.

The teacher went ballistic. My son’s grades plummeted, and every day she sent me a new note demanding I refill the prescription. But I knew in my heart, as his mother—the person whose job it was to be my child’s advocate--, the kid was being medicated unnecessarily. His side effects were painful to watch.

I was caught on the horns of a dilemma. The pharmacist offered me a way to know for sure whether or not my son needed the medication.

I accepted her offer. She provided me with placebo pills resembling the ADD medication.

Initially, I gave my son the pills at home as well as sent a supply to the school. My home supply ran out. My son never asked for the medication, but I knew from talking with him the teacher made sure he took one daily at school. His grades went back up. The notes from his teacher stopped, except for the occasional one telling me how well he was doing in class. She made a point to say he was staying in his seat and no longer being disruptive.

Then the school’s supply of placebo pills ran out. I did not ask my pharmacist friend for more.

The notes started again. Every day my son brought me a note from his teacher asking when I planned to refill the prescription. I ignored them.

The day came when my son handed me that day’s note, and asked “Why won’t you give me my pills so I can think?”

Stinging from outrage over the idea a teacher would put such words into the mind of my child, I read the note. The teacher was threatening to report me to the Department of Social Services for child neglect if I continued to refuse to refill the prescription.

Okay, now I was mad. I grabbed Dear Hubby and together we hit the front door of that elementary school like a two-man SWAT team. I summoned the principal, the assistant principal, the guidance counselor and the school nurse to join us in that third grade classroom. I didn’t ask them to join the meeting, I TOLD them their presence was required.

I explained to the assembled group they’d unknowingly participated in my version of a double-blind psych experiment. I showed them a placebo pill alongside the real ADD medication. I presented the notes from the teacher during the time period my son was on the sugar pills. I pointed to his grades, inexplicably high, given he’d had no real medication.

In summary, I asked the group who they saw as needing the medication, my son, or the teacher. I went further, stating I felt she’d hit on a lazy way to do her job minus the normal complications half a classroom of nine-year old boys can cause.

My son passed the third grade. The teacher retired at the end of the year. Oh, and that specialist was investigated by the state licensing board.

I see a lot of that teacher in Paypal. Perhaps they have genuine concerns about pornography. I believe my Dirty Minds proved transgressive erotica is not pornography. As a psychology major, I’ll refer you to the theory of Cognitive Dissonance to explain why women might want to read about a fictional account of a real-life situation they abhor.

Perhaps PayPal genuinely seeks to protect women from exploitation. If so, I’d suggest they donate to groups dedicated to stopping real violence against women, rather than demanding adult readers of legal fiction swallow their placebo policy which pretends to protect women.
Smashwords founder Mark Coker has announced Paypal may be softening their stance.
  

Like that third-grade teacher, now PayPal is sputtering. Groups like the ACLU of Northern California  and the Electronic Frontier Foundation  have taken the matter in hand. They need YOUR HELP to show Paypal you aren't going to swallow  their Porn Placebo. Fill out the forms. In spite of the disabled comments section on PayPal’s blog, your post on the EFF and ACLU  letters will go straight to the inbox of a PayPal executive.


Burn that f*cker down. Make their mail server crash from your outcry.
 

As any nine-year-old boy who ever swung a bat can tell you, it’s possible to lose the ballgame in the last inning. They may not know they’re quoting my adored Yogi Berra when they tell you “It ain’t over till it’s over,” but the sentiment applies here.

Keep your head in the game till the last out is recorded. Call PayPal. Threaten to close your account unless they stop playing doctor and get back in their proper corner: That of moving funds from Slot A to Tab B.

Tell them you’re not going to swallow. Say NO to PayPal's Porn Placebo. I’ll quote myself, arrogant though that may be.  “And, I believe, if we make enough of an outcry, you'll withdraw that offensive item you're sticking down my throat. I think your rigid stance might shrivel in the cold light of negative publicity.”

Call PayPal:
PayPal US phone line: 1-800-221-1161
outside the US call this number: 1-402-935-2050.
Call between 4 am and 10 pm M-F Pacific Time, and 6 am to 8 pm Pacific Time Saturday and Sunday

Contact PayPal on twitter @Paypal and tell them:  I vote NO to your Porn Placebo Policy—Stop Censoring Erotica

Use the form provided by the EFF and the one provided by the ACLU to add your name to the letter demanding PayPal stop censoring books.

Thank you for reading this series.

Submission Call for Transgressive Erotica Anthology
 

Dirty Minds vs. Debit Card: Shades of Consent

Welcome today's Dirty Mind, Skye Warren. Some writers come through my door knowing what they want to say. Skye was one. Grab a cup of coffee with me and let's give her the floor.

I have always seen the world in shades of consent. When the teenage boy leans in for a kiss, does the girl give explicit consent first? Probably not, so he learns early on to search for clues. Or maybe he learns just to go for it, and deal with the consequences after.

It doesn’t stop there. Even when we’re older, the entire dating ritual is an elegant-awkward dance toward mating. The first date, the third? Wait until they’re married, and then what – is consent implicit?

For me, the issue of consent has never been confined to erotica. It’s in all fiction, everywhere, because that’s the crux of conflict. In fact, I can write in couched terms, pretty it up, and sell it as anything I want. Science fiction, horror, general fiction. It’s only if I want to be direct does it come up, because then I’m writing about sex, which by default of our genre structure makes it erotica, and that’s what’s under fire.

And let me be blunt – all of erotica is under fire. This has nothing to do with right and wrong, and everything to do with repression. Sound extreme? Here’s an example. I can write a book where a woman is burned to death, burned to a crisp, in horrible, gory detail that makes me want to vomit. That can sell to a publisher, sell in Barnes & Noble, and be sold via Paypal. The book is The Mummy by Anne Rice, by the way, and it’s a good book.

But I cannot write a girl who spreads her legs calmly, reconsiders, politely requests that the man stop – “No, thank you.” And he continues to have sex with her anyway. That’s not allowed. Which scenario is more wrong? Well, honestly it’s a matter of opinion, but I can tell you for damn sure which one I’d prefer happen to me.

Paypal is telling me that a 19 year old man having consensual sex is so morally reprehensible that they cannot sell it, and yet the burning to a crisp in explicit language is just A-okay. So don’t tell me this is about morality – that doesn’t make any sense. This is about the fact that some Paypal execs don’t like women reading about sex.

Paypal executives are telling me that I am allowed to get raped, but I should not be allowed to read about it. And I certainly shouldn’t write about it. If Paypal executives want to make the world a better place, how about they target rapists, not rape fiction. It’s the real thing that’s hurting women, not the book.

“The only way you can write the truth is to assume that what you set down will never be read. Not by any other person, and not even by yourself at some later date. Otherwise you begin excusing yourself.’ – Margaret Atwood

The truth is that rape happens. The truth is that sometimes sex hurts. Sometimes it’s violent and gritty and painful and disgusting, and it does not stop being any of those things if you don’t let us write about it.

I first heard about the Paypal ban from Bookstrand. I shrugged. Maybe I should have been up-in-arms at that point, but I found their stance on the matter and certain correspondence that became public to be so poorly done that I was not sad not to do business with them anymore. They pulled all my books (not just the two in question) although my understanding is that they pulled virtually all indies. Next came All Romance, who kindly reviewed all my work and decided those two books were “dubious consent” (as opposed to “nonconsent”, which would have required them to remove it completely). That was fine.

Last came Smashwords, and I will admit that the initial letter from its founder Mark Coker really pissed me off. It took until then for me to see red. This was a company that dedicated itself to indie writing, and here was the perfect opportunity to be an advocate, and they turned their back! He didn’t just say that they had to do it to keep the site running for everyone else, which I would have understood, but said that it was an “oversight” that these hadn’t been banned all along! Thank goodness Paypal stepped in to remind him that they should be in the censorship business.

And then he added insult to injury with the parting shot, “If you’re going to push the limits, push the limits of great writing, not the limits of legality.” As if I don’t push the limits of great writing already, which Mark Coker knows, not because he’s read my books, but because of my subject matter. As if I have ever written anything illegal (I haven’t). Subsequent letters have been worded much better, but I can’t forget this one. For me, this one is their true colors. The rest is damage control. So I pulled all my books from Smashwords, even the ones that did not violate their fabulous new terms of service.

Call me oversensitive, but I have felt this censorship mess like a physical blow. It isn’t even all about my books, it’s about what I read, the authors I respect. They are wrong. What I like is wrong. What’s in my head is wrong-wrong-wrong.

Well, like Mark Coker, thank goodness. Thank goodness I have PayPal to teach me better. Thank goodness a man can drag me behind a dumpster, but now I’ll know better than to say anything. Don’t write about. Don’t talk about it. Now I know: sexual violence against women should not be discussed in the open. Thank you, Paypal.

Wow, that’s what I call author voice.  
It’s becoming apparent many readers and writers turn to the sub-genre of transgressive erotica because it’s being used as a vehicle to help many woman process the reality of violence through reading rape fiction, or writing it. Corporate America is telling women our fantasies are wrong, Yet I see no major outcry from the women who have a PayPal card tucked into their wallet. Have any of your readers weighed in on the fact you now have very limited outlets to publish the type of story they want to read? Or has the lack of mainstream news coverage prevented them from realizing the truth?

One of the hardest things for me to deal with has been the cannibalism within the erotica/erotic romance authorship community. I saw one author say that he “refused to stand up with rapists and pedophiles.” You know you have to have a tough skin as an author, and I think I do, but those words cut me. I’m not a rapist. I’m not a pedophile. But I think that kind of attitude, while extreme, represents what is so tough about this whole thing. Even if they understand that it’s not really that, it’s hard for anyone to stand up for something with the word “rape” in it. It’s hard for people to stand up for something with the word “incest” in it, even if it’s fiction. And even when some truly great, mainstream writers come out to advocate, it is still prefaced with “Now I wouldn’t read any of this kind of stuff, but...” (Oh, me too. Makes me wonder where all those millions of dollars spent on romance are coming from.)

So that’s one reason. The other is that Bookstrand and Smashwords didn’t have the kind of readership that Amazon and B&N and even All Romance do, and my “dubious consent” books are still allowed there. Honestly, one of the reasons that I am speaking out here is because I have a suspicion that all this was just a precursor. I am waiting for the death knell from  Amazon. I really hope I’m wrong about this. I hope they see all the fuss and figure that censorship just isn’t worth the trouble for them.

If there’s something to be grateful for in all of this, it’s that it’s opened up discussion. Readers have contacted me to show their support, and I am so grateful for each one of those letters. It’s even opened up discussion between authors of this banned erotica, this series being one example.
I have had some of the same experiences with other authors. It’s as if they believe, by suppressing fiction about pedophilia--the real deal, I mean, will make it stop happening. A nineteen year old male is far enough past the age of consent to make his own decisions about his sex partners--and he likely has been doing so for quite some time. But genuine sexual abuse of minors, and actual rapes happen every day. How is not writing legal fiction about it going to stop an all-too-sad reality? Shall we leave the victims valid experiences out of our fiction? Won’t that make them feel even more guilty and isolated, if these topics are so taboo they cannot be touched in a work of imagination?

When I first read this question, I wanted to talk about how, from a geopolitical standpoint, the places with the highest censorship rates are the ones with the worst forms of oppression. How, throughout history, the times of highest sexual repression were the ones with the most sexual violence. Because really, it’s easier to talk about broad social trends than concrete things.

That’s part of why I write, too. The fiction acts as a buffer. Many of the reader emails I’ve gotten have said that I nailed the experience of being raped and the aftereffects. They said it was disturbing, but so painfully accurate. And the subtext is there, sometimes more blatant than others: so, you’ve experienced it. Because how else would I know? For that matter, how would they know it’s accurate unless they had experienced it?

Not every one of my readers has been raped. Some of them have told me they haven’t been, so what are they relating to? I think even without a distinct “No, stop” experience in their past, those feelings of powerlessness are pervasive. Almost every woman I know has at least one story – that one time they were groped or shamed or somethinged and it haunts them even now. For better or worse, it’s a shared part of the female existence.

Not everyone wants to share that experience, with me or anyone, and that’s their prerogative not to read my books. I don’t take offensive – it can be painful! What’s offensive is the idea that I shouldn’t share that with anyone. That someone else doesn’t deserve to read words giving voice to her pain, and know she’s not alone with it.

There is a commonality to why a lot of us read transgressive erotica. Women who have never been raped report having rape fantasies to a surprising degree. For any card company to wipe this type of story off the shelf is a slap in the face to me. Telling an adult woman she cannot choose to read a book to tap into that emotional exploration seems an outrage.

Do you mind telling us roughly how many copies of your banned titles were sold before they were taken down? Has having your titles banned affected your creativity? Are you concerned now about what might be next on the chopping block, in light of the overall lack of outcry?

Keep Me Safe has sold 3,000 copies since it was released in November 2011, and only about 100 copies came from the bookstores it’s now banned from, Smashwords and Bookstrand. Trust in Me came out mid-February, right before this whole thing blew up. It’s sold over 500 copies since then, less than ten of those came from Smashwords/Bookstrand.

It’s ironic that the bookstores with the lowest volume were the ones who decided to restrict their offerings, but then maybe that’s part of the reason why it happened. Larger bookstores like Amazon and B&N work directly with the credit cards (where XXX porn is regularly transacted), whereas these smaller stores go through a third party like Paypal.

And I can understand that, but both of them could not point the finger at us crazy indie authors fast enough when they came out with their censorship decisions. God, if we only knew where to draw the line, they wouldn’t have to clean up this mess! And yet, for years they have happily taken our money without uttering a peep. If they want to impress us with their implacable morality, how about they calculate the royalties they’ve earned from these horribly obscene and offensive titles and donate them to a rape victim advocacy groups?

The censorship has absolutely affected my creativity. Combined with certain recent political events, my lady parts are feeling distinctly unwelcome. I’m a little bit in shock about it all. Why are banks telling me what to read? Why are politicians telling me who to have sex with? Is this some sort of feminist candid camera, and someone’s going to jump out and say, “Surprise, we actually do respect you!” I would like my 21st century back now, please.

Skye, I appreciate your taking the time to speak out and give readers as well as other writers another facet to the prism we see this targeted sub-genre through. Skye may be found on her website and blog, as well as on Twitter @skye_warren.

Remember: Submissions Call for Transgressional Erotica Anthology. Cover Image created and donated by Narcisse Navarre.

Dirty Mind vs. Debit Card: I Questioned Whether I Was a Monster

Today's Dirty Mind is Monocle.

One of my previous guests suggested I track Monocle down and sweet-talk him into participating in the series.  I'm delighted I did, and I think you will be as well.

Good morning, Monocle, and thank you for letting me twist your arm into talking with me about your erotica and your feelings about the Paypal ban. Though it has yet to affect you directly, you've brought an entirely different perspective to this week's conversation, and one I feel we needed, particularly in light of some things brought up by previous Dirty Minds participants. 

Hello, Eden.  Here we go.

I write a lot of different kinds of erotica, but the majority of my writing before about 2009 fell into or very close to categories which PayPal currently bans transactions for. Most of those stories are non-consent, or ‘dubious-consent’, or ‘reluctance’ - though the latter two might fall into some grey area for PayPal. Frankly it’s hard to tell, given the capriciousness, or odd selectivity of their enforcement. I’ve also written a lot of alien/monster/nonhuman erotica (and yes, much of that is also non-cons, which isn’t really bestiality, but again, probably comes close to that grey area.

Much of my earlier writing was self-exploration of the themes. It was, in many ways, the navel-gazing of someone trying to figure out exactly what monsters were inside him, and to own them. I didn’t start out with any noble goals to write transgressive literature or to explore any psyche besides my own. The latter came later, the former much later, when I realized I actually wrote passably and wanted to get better.

To me, all these stories served two purposes. First, they were arousing. I wrote them because they turned me on. I wrote “rape for the purpose of titillation” quite intentionally. Second, I wrote them to figure out exactly what about them turned me on and why. And I got some answers.

Since I started writing erotica seriously, I’ve always shared it online. First on usenet, then on ASSTR and similar sites, and since 2009 on my shared blog. Also in 2009 and 2010, I took most of my non-cons and similar erotica off the public spaces and moved them behind passwords and into books, in my case published by Republica Press. Republica’s credo was to give its writers freedom to explore whatever they wanted. It wasn’t afraid of the darker, or weirder, or squickier stuff. Emma, Republica’s editor, encouraged me to get my first book together with them, a collection of 100 flash-fictions, nearly all of them non-con or strange in nature, because she knew there was an audience for it. And she was right.

One of my more recent n/c stories, called 'Give In', which has not made it into any book, is to me, the reason why non-consent - even ‘non-consent for tillation has value.

In some ways the story is a metaphor for the non-cons fantasy itself. If you're inclined to have this kind of fantasy - and many of us are - you’re going to have them one way or the other. There’s nothing you can – or should, in my opinion – do to fight the fact that those are your fantasies. Understand them, fine. Learn, perhaps where they come from within yourself, but there’s nothing wrong with having them, or enjoying them. I don’t think anyone is messed up for having rape fantasies. The messed-up only happens when the bright line between the mind and the real world is crossed.

And there’s more. 'Give In' taught me that non-cons stories had still more to them, when a woman who had experienced sexual assault commented on the story. It was humbling, but the story had given her something positive, and it was amazing to think about.

The gist of the comment was that in some situations of rape, the victim’s body’s own self-protection - such as lubrication, can feel like a betrayal when it’s not. Physical pleasure can be forced on someone, and they are not to ‘blame’ for it. Many victims are additionally victimized (from inside and out) by the belief that they shouldn’t have felt anything, or felt only the pain of the violation. Human physical and emotional self-protection works against that. It’s not “sit back and enjoy it if there’s nothing else you can do”, but “forgive yourself for being human, and having human reactions in extreme circumstances.” These were not ‘lessons’ I set out to ‘teach’ - that’s arrogance and hubris beyond the pale. But I wanted to explore, in the story, that very set-up of rapists (true fantasy rapists) whose overt goal is not simply to have a fuck of an unwilling victim, but to orchestrate and coerce her surrender to pleasure.

Other comments on this  and other non-cons erotica I’ve written revealed conflict in my readers - whether or not they had personal experience with sexual assault. As readers, there is guilt and freedom, to associate with the victim or the perpetrator. To allow yourself into those head-spaces, and imagine what it would be like. People feel guilty about getting pleasure doing that - about imagining these things. I know I used to. But writing the stories, and reading others’, and reading the comments, and thinking about ‘whys' is what lets you look into the darker crevices of your own mind. 


As a man, I questioned whether I was a monster. Did I actually want to do these things? Did I think so little of women to turn them into objects? Was I in control of myself? And, over time, first after realizing I had to ask those questions, and then spending time to think; to make sure I was answering non-reflexively, I came to answers. Yes, I do, sometimes want to do these things, but I will not. The division between imagination and reality is a hard bright line. Do I think of women as things? No. I think of women as people, and equals. And yet sometimes, I want them to be my things as well. Does that affect the way I treat, for example, female colleagues?  My Wife? My neighbors? And the answer came back no. It’s an interesting process of self interrogation - you have to question whether or not you’re fooling yourself, if you’re being truly honest. It took me a lot of time. But it’s the process of knowing yourself.

So, given that non-cons has been, essentially an examination of myself, what does this mean for the reader? As an aside, it logically follows, that all the monstery/alienish stories are similar. Think of the invisible monster of Forbidden Planet- but with a much bigger libido. I’ve read of that particular monster called ‘the Id monster’ because it was an expression of Morbius’ Id - in the Freudian sense; his passions and fears manifested. Similarly all my beasties - human and non - are Id monsters.

Earlier in my writing, I didn’t think about it. I put the stories out there, and people read them or not, and thought what they thought. In recent years, and especially now as I’ve become more conscious - and desirous - of the interaction between writer and reader, I’ve thought more about it. If a reader can use stories like these to explore their own reactions, to look into themselves about the ‘why’ they react the way they do - then there’s more to these stories than ‘rape for titillation,’ and, maybe even something important. We’re the only animals with any hint of this kind of imagination. The ability to conceive of things that we could do - and even want to do - and still not do them for a myriad of reasons, including internal and external morality.  And yes, some people will be (I hope) turned on.

Do you want to tell us why you’re a man who writes erotica from the female perspective, Monocle?  We had a previous post from a woman who writes M/M erotica. Her insight on her motives was very interesting. 

It’s another evolution thing. I found I was always more attracted to erotica either from the female POV, or that seemed designed to appeal to women.  That’s not to say romantica or anything, but the writing that most turned me on seemed targeted at turning on women. Second, being male, and always wondering at the strange creatures that are women, I wanted to try to understand them better; and to do so I figured to imagine what it might be like. In some ways a lot of it was guesswork - even talking to women doesn’t get one that far in what it feels like on the visceral level. The language between the sexes - when I was thinking about it this way - didn’t seem adequate. Plus, there weren’t really many women I knew comfortable talking sex and sexuality to that depth with me - and I wasn't as comfortable then with it as I am now. 

Third (I know, long list!), my early stories in this POV got, at the time, positive response - from both men and women. A lot of women thought I was also a woman writer. I took it as a point of pride I could write believably from the woman’s POV, and had also read and seen enough to know that male erotica writers often had a much harder time of it with the female audience. So, up to around 2009 or so, I was usually cryptic about my gender to the commenters I interacted with, an happy enough to let readers guess.

Last, and this took a lot more time and discussion to think through, one reason I wrote so much from the woman’s POV was to protect myself. Sure, as writer I was both the monster (human or otherwise) as well as the heroine, but not being the antagonist I could avoid confronting the feelings and motivations for these transgressive acts in first person. I could be more distant, even somewhat analytic, when seeing it through different eyes. In the last three years, I’ve made much more of a shift towards male protagonists, because I’m in a different place in my self exploration - and I’m now consciously exploring writing as craft as well as simply a vector for scenes and stories that turn me on. However, I still haven’t written a complete, overt first-person male POV non-cons story. I realize that ten, or five years ago, I was unconsciously afraid of doing so. I’m not any more, so it’s on my list.


Remittance Girl, my first guest author and I had a wide-ranging discussion. Part of it touched on the advent of the e-reader and the liberty they afford. A reader of erotica no longer has to pullout a paperback with a lurid cover. RG and I  agreed that new-found sense of privacy brought more readers to the sub-genre, but is also what’s keeping women silent about this issue. 

No doubt! It’s a double edged sword. On my blog - on any blog - you get a lot more readers than commenters. On the ‘Obsidian Lens’ part of my blog, which puts the darker themed stories behind a password, some readers have found that the privacy afforded makes them more comfortable to comment. Still, many (certainly not all) who read the most transgressive materials are either consciously or unconsciously dealing with the guilt of their desire to do so, and that tends to keep them from speaking - and speaking out - about it.


Where can readers find your titles?My publisher, Republica will close doors at the end of the month. Until that time, my titles may be purchased through them. I have 5 books at Republica. The first, Nightmares and Visions, is a series of 100 flash-fictions (averaging 500-600 words each). Almost all of them deal with various forms of non-consent and reluctance with different levels of intensity. All of them are in first person female POV. The fact of the 100 makes it pretty relentless if you read many at a time, which is sort of a meta-point about the whole subject matter. It’s not for someone who knows what they like, or who is not afraid. The other 4 I made with a theme “Through a … Lens”, and the nature of the lens hinted at the content of the stories. “Silvered” is more romantic stories, “Ethereal” is Science Fiction and Fantasy (with different aspects of consent and non-) “Tinted” is general consent-edgy stories, and “Haunted” is Fantasy/Horror (including my one story where the protagonist does not survive to the end). That’s all very sales-y and I don’t intend to do that.
No problem, I'll state right now, I prodded you to include this information. It's my goal to show readers what they're going to be giving away if an outcry is not made over Paypal's policy. How will they know what's being taken unless they buy a book or two? Stop blushing. <grin> Writing continues to be a personal journey for me. I suspect it is for most writers. Being a hobbyist at it, I’m very inconsistent. Since I started seriously in ‘98, I’ve gone for periods of 6 months to over a year producing little or nothing new fiction at all. I’m in one of those now, even though I’ve been active in other ways - things like filthy micropoetry on twitter, and which I post daily. I want to improve my craft of writing, explore more themes - both common and uncommon. I want to write for myself, but I also want to be read. I want to be able to be read by those interested, and I want to learn what my stories - and stories like mine - make people think about and feel. That means having my blog space, and it means having the books I’ve finished available to the public. I am my own gatekeeper. If I let it out of my head - if any writer lets their monsters out - I don’t want to grant PayPal or some webmaster somewhere permission or power to keep it away from people who wish to see it.

Hrm. Now for closing, I have to think of something. It’s extra hard, perhaps, because I’ve been so dry of writing this past year. Recently the ideas have been starting to come again, but still the fingers-to-keyboard have been sluggish. I have never written anything that doesn’t turn me on at least a little, and prefer to write things that grab me by the throat - or cock - and make me write them. I think my best stories came out (literally and figuratively) in that way. As an aside, coming at writing with a desire to ‘write better’ is sometimes a challenge to ‘writing instinctively.’ The former may be higher quality, the latter is, I feel more visceral and true for me. I have yet to internalize ‘all writing is rewriting’ because I have always hated rewriting.

Look at me ramble. Truth of the matter is, one major reason I started writing - and sharing - because I couldn't find the kind of twisted, perverted, nasty stuff online that I wanted to read myself. So I made it. And in some ways, that remains a big motivation. If I have an idea that wants expression, putting my characters - all shades of myself, in the final analysis - in different perils, or perpetrating the acts of monsters (human or otherwise), then I act on that.

There’s another way that writing - and reading - frees us of the constraints of our civilized or moralized world. Our imaginations are unfettered. I can reach through this screen and take you, the reader, right now. Don’t think I’m not thinking about it. Right now. There’s nothing you can do about it except close the page. But you and I - we’re free to do these things because no one is standing over us saying I can’t write this and you can’t read it, or buy it, or what have you. And that’s the way it should be. And if you’re still reading it, knowing the utterly obscene and awful things I’m thinking of doing to you right now, well, that’ll be our secret, won’t it?

(grinning) I probably shouldn't say 'Bring it," should I? Not in front of all these readers. So,instead, I'll say thank you so much for taking the time to work out this interview with me. I had a delightful time, and I appreciate the effort you made to be utterly honest. I'm very pleased to say Moncocle submitted 'Give In' to my Transgressive Erotica Anthology call. The best part of this series, for me, has been getting to know these authors as people. As I suspected, not one dirty old man wearing a sweat-stained wife-beater and smoking a cigar while plotting to exploit real-life women in the bunch. So far, all I can see PayPal protecting me from is exercising my free will and using my own funds to read the legal content of my choosing. How about you? These authors and I love comments. Have you learned anything this week about erotica, and the people who write it? Those of you who write in the sub-genre,and those of you who never have, but are true rebels at heart and want to give it a try, please don't forget the Transgressive Erotica Submission Call. I'm late posting tonight because Blogger and I had a fight about posting the image, and Blogger won.

Dirty Mind vs. Debit Card: Sex Is The Cornerstone of Control

Welcome today's Dirty Mind, Alessia Brio.

This woman came through the door knowing exactly what she wanted to say, so I'll grab a cup of coffee and let her get right to it . My WIP is suffering from a lack of fresh typos anyway. <grin>

I started my journey as a professional writer with a niche small press publisher. At that time, waaaay back in 2005, it was the only way a short story writer could get her work in front of a broad paying readership and even hope to make a decent income. Selling stories to print anthologies only netted about $50 and a couple comp copies of the book. That’s hardly a living wage.

So, until self-epublishing became accessible, I tried to make my writing fit the erotic romance genre. Sometimes, I succeeded in producing a title that could be construed (albeit loosely) as a Romance (with a capital R). I just couldn’t make myself embrace the hero alpha male fantasy, though. I typically write strong, independent women with lusty appetites who didn’t need a man to complete them. Perhaps that’s why my most popular work is lesbian erotica.

Pardon the digression. I’ll get to my point. Digital self-publishing platforms have enabled writers like me a freedom of expression that transcends genre. However, in order to reach the desired audience, we still have to title, cover, categorize, and tag our work appropriately. That is a double-edged sword for it draws not only the attention of readers but also of those who seek to stifle the edgier expressions of eroticism. (Why certain people feel it imperative to do so is another matter entirely.)

Take, for example, my short story entitled Time Warp, which is free this week at Smashwords as part of the Read an eBook Week celebration. It has thus far escaped censorship, to my surprise. It’s not a huge seller, but it is extremely well reviewed. And it is rape. Rape for revenge. There’s no other way to spin it without being hypocritical.

Some claim that the touchstone of proscription is whether or not the subject matter is intended to titillate. Hell, if you don’t seek to spark something in a reader, why bother to write? I definitely intended this title to arouse the reader, although perhaps not sexually. Oh, the sex is graphic. The language, explicit. It certainly may result in sexual arousal, depending on the reader’s mindset at the moment of consumption. To me, it is a tale of empowerment. It is hella entertaining erotica. And it is fiction.

Fiction.

Can you even imagine what our reading menu would look like if everything that is illegal or considered immoral in our nonfiction worlds was disallowed as entertainment value in our fiction? And make no mistake, all of those illegal and transgressive activities are intended to arouse emotion in the audience. Twilight embraces pedophilia (Edward is 200 years old; Bella, 16) and, arguably, necrophilia. The Hunger Games glorifies the murder of children for blood sport. It’s fiction, and fiction exists for entertainment.

The only difference is that erotica often contains graphic depictions of sex, and sex is at the cornerstone of control. If we, as a culture, had not allowed religions to convince us and our purportedly secular governments that our sexual impulses were shameful, there would be no such thing as taboo or transgressive behavior between consenting adults. It can even can be argued that those entities are directly responsible for the existence of the content they seek to repress.

My erotica comes from a place of rebellion. I am perpetually pissed off that something as raw and primal and life-affirming as sex has been victimized by those claiming to speak for their gods. I refuse to be pushed into some seedy back alley. I will celebrate sex with every word I write, and I will do it until sex no longer bears the stain of shame.

When you dissect this recent payment processor bullshit, it bears a striking resemblance to the recently-defeated Internet control legislation in the US. Both seek to insert an arbitrary layer of control between source and audience. The slope is just as slippery.

peace & passion,

~ Alessia Brio

www.purpleprosaic.com

www.eroticanthology.com

Thank you so much for coming and speaking out today Alessia. It certainly seems there's a conservative backlash afoot in more than just the indie publishing market which feels aimed at eroding a woman's right to control her sexuality in many ways. 

Call for Submissions

Dirty Mind vs Debit Card: Women Desire Taboos in Their Erotica

Welcome today's Dirty Mind, M. Keep, aka Anjasa.

Welcome Anjasa to our forum today. She's yet to have a title banned, but is the author of many works, along with her partner, which she despairs of ever being able to publish, due to the current chill around erotica in light of the PayPal crackdown on transgressive erotica. 




I've been exploring my sexuality since I was a six year old girl, when I first stumbled upon my father's Playboys. The first thing I did when I got the internet was start looking up pornography - specifically hentai, since I loved Sailor Moon at the time. I also read a lot - fiction and non-fiction - that focused frequently on taboo topics. I was fascinated by the sex trade, sexual slavery, rape, incest, and sexual deviance as a whole.


These three actions shaped my sexual development more than I could possibly know.


As an adult, I thought I was into BDSM.  However, I later found it too clinical. Too cold. Too well thought out. I'd rather a man wrap a belt around a woman's neck and use it like a collar and a leash than using a legit collar and leash. It's the same concept, but one requires far less planning both physically and mentally.  It’s more spontaneous.


So that's my sexual development, in a neat little three paragraphs. Now let's talk about me as a person.


I'm a woman, I have a successful career. I'm an empathetic person, and a dedicated friend. I have a lovely little rabbit, and I blog about humanist issues such as sexism and racism in the media. I'm a pacifist, I've never been in a physical altercation, I've never been physically abused in a relationship, and I'm well adjusted. I'm passionate about human rights, and want for the world to be a better, more peaceful, more compassionate place. I've been in a monogamous relationship for almost eleven years.


I also want the freedom to read erotica that pushes the boundaries of multiple taboos.


Not only do I believe that all literature and art should go ungoverned in any way, but I want it available for more selfish reasons as well. I enjoy reading the darkest of taboos. Taboos that are nearly impossible to find available for purchase, even before Paypal's crackdown.


Some people have said the reason for the ban on rape and incest and extreme bondage is that readers might get the 'wrong idea'. The implication being that people who read about rape will be more likely to rape; people who read about incest will be more likely to commit incest; people who read barely-legal stories will be more likely to have sex with barely-legal women.


Women are, by and large, the readers and writers of erotica, however. Women are, by and large, the ones demanding these rape stories, these incest stories, these barely legal stories. Women are able to place themselves in the situation of the victim, of the young woman, of the seduced sister, or the seducing daughter. This seems to fly in the face of the reasoning of it being disallowed - the idea that we're promoting crimes by writing and reading about it - since it's women desiring these taboos.


So should that change anything? I don't believe so, but I do believe it adds context to people's desires and fantasies, and how they aren't all wanting these things to be happening in real life. I believe the vast majority of humans, male and female, have a firm separation of fantasy and reality, and that just because someone is turned on by a rape fiction doesn't mean they wouldn't be appalled by real-life rape.


As a society we seem to believe that people are more defined and influenced by their sexual desires, that people are more willing to commit a crime if it sexually stimulates them. Books rarely get called out for violence and torture and murder, but erotica is being called out for consensual sex acts between two adults. Is this the message we want to send? That it's worse for an older man to have sex with a younger woman than for an older man to kidnap, torture, and eventually murder her? It's assumed we're not getting stimulated in the same way, and that when sexually stimulated we're more likely to want to try something in real life.


I have a strong separation of fantasy and reality. I'd never want to be gang raped by a band of marauding bandits, for instance. But I want the freedom to read about it, if I so desire. The only people possibly moved to commit violent crimes based on a book they read are mentally unstable in the first place - a book isn't going to convince a well-adjusted individual to rape or be raped any more than it's going to convince a well-adjusted individual to kill someone.

For further reading, I highly recommend Neil Gaiman's post on 'Why Defend Freedom of Icky Speech.'


Do you have an affected title? If so, what is it, and why did you write it? Is it still available for purchase elsewhere?

I thankfully don't have an affected work - yet. My partner and I have some stories written, however, that we're debating what to do with because of the bans. http://noboundariespressstore.com/ is looking at ways to work around the ban, and I'm certain there are other sites as well, but they're still getting up and running. No one knows how this is going to go yet - it's a very uncertain time for erotic writers, even the more vanilla writers.


As for why I write what I do - I like a wide range of topics. Some erotic writers only write menage, others only write m/m, others only write interracial, etc. I write... everything. I have stories that are soft and romantic, and I've written others that have contained brutal, unrelenting gang rapes. I like exploring a wide range of topics and categories, and blending them together with an engaging plot. I write what turns me on, and a lot of different things turn me on.

To my mind, that means you're pushing the envelope as a writer, not that you're a dangerous subversive who needs to be shut up at all costs. I know others are also exploring a way around PayPal's policy, but shouldn't we allow the CONSUMER to dictate what they won't buy? That's the harshest censorship, after all. Personally, I write erotic romance, and to date, nothing I've ever submitted for publication would come close to this knife. But, I'll defend to my death any writer's right to write it, and reader's right to read it, and I'll state it has merit, by allowing people to let their minds take them they wouldn't want to go in actuality. Fiction is rexploration in the safety of your home.. 

In a previous interview, one writer, remittance girl and I touched on the paternalistic attitudes coming from interested observers as well as from some writers within the genre.  I've seen it from primarily  men who want to see the issue as one of PayPal's right as a business to set their own TOS, and younger females who shrug this off as 'stuff they don't write. How can they know today they won't be inspired to write hard-edged erotica in a year, or in five?  Have you seen this to be true? Any thoughts?

This isn't the first time PayPal has determined what you can and cannot buy. They've, in the past, stopped people from being able to donate to charities such as with Regretsy, they've stopped people from being able to donate to activist groups such as Wikileaks, and they've always been sketchy about allowing adult items, despite it being demanded by its consumers.


I definitely believe consumers should have the right to make their own purchasing decisions. I have a MasterCard and Visa and never have they declined me the right to use my card for certain types of purchases. While illegal purchases are treated differently, I will point out that purchasing fiction is very rarely illegal and none of the acts they've recently banned have ever been prosecuted in North America to my knowledge.


PayPal does have the right to form their own ToS, however I believe that with the Oligarchy of payment processors being what it is, they should be held to a high standard. Their Terms of Service in how it relates to erotica and pornography is confusing and vague at best. "Certain sexually oriented materials or services" are not allowed under PayPal's Acceptable Use Policy, however there are no clear cut rules about what those materials or services are. This, in turn, gives them a great power to be completely arbitrary and changing on a day to day basis.


As for people who are coming out in support of PayPal's ban for moral or ethical reasons, or because it doesn't personally affect them, I wonder how truly they're analyzing the situation and the implications thereof. While they might be banning incest (including step families), rape, barely legal adults and bestiality, they could just as quickly move on to banning all adult content - it's covered in their Acceptable Use Policy, after all.


They are treading on a slippery slope - both PayPal and their defenders - and I think it's time that all of us take a good, hard look at how much power we want corporations to have in our day to day lives.

I agree, this is the larger debate--and the issue many overlook: when business seeks to limit personal liberty in an arena where government treads cautiously you're giving up something you never had a chance to fight for. This is sexual politics at its dirtiest. Does Paypal have the right to set their own TOS? Yes, but I maintain I have the right to tell them to shut up and get back in the corner where they belong--as a woman, as a consumer, as a cardholder, and as a writer of erotic romance. I've said to before, elsewhere, but it bears repeating. I believe if we make a large enough outcry, Paypal will bow to public opinion because they won't risk losing customers over conscience. 

Thank you, M. Keep, for giving us your perspective on the ramifications of censorship by corporations, as well as for being so candid..
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